So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
