Fuck appropriateness.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
