Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
