I just made out with a guy for $7.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
