have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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