Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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