i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
