we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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