So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
this is an emotional support booty call
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
