You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize