honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
