I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
