I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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