I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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