Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
