tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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