if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
