Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
