Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
