This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Who wears a wallet chain?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
