I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
