Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize