who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize