need another drink. this is the easiest way
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize