I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
