Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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