Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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