hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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