I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she peed on how many people?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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