if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
