guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
