..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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