Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
