Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize