but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
