so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
