were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
someone owes me an orgasm
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
