Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
