Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
