at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
