My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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