i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
