why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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