Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
