Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Drake has all the answers
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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