Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize