She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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