I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
