Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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