I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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