If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
