why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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