She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
