never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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