Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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