i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
