After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
