after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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