Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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